Today, about 50 percent of marriages are expected to dissolve,
half of all children can expect to live some time with a single
parent, and 33 percent of all births are to unmarried women.
Marriage as a permanent arrangement is no longer widely
presumed, nor is it the only culturally accepted arrangement in
which to raise children. The public consequences of this shift
go far beyond societal upheaval. The backlash has generated a "Marriage
Strike."
The government is most intrusive into family life when
marriages fail. If you don't believe it, try getting married,
having kids and then getting a divorce. If you are a
non-custodial parent, government will tell you when you can see
your children; whether you can pick them up after school or not,
and if so, on what days; whether you can authorize medical care
for your children; and how much money you must spend on your
kids.
With the exception of a few states who do
not recognize alimony and only permit rehabilitative support for
a few years, you can expect the following: As the spouse who
gets saddled with paying alimony, you can expect it to be an
emotional disaster and financial suicide to which there is no
"closure." The courts will retain jurisdiction over you for the
rest of your life.
If you have any children and your spouse
is given custody, you will probably be allowed to see them only
a few days of the month, you can expect that your spouse will
alienate them with vindictive allegations about your ineptitude
as a parent beside being a socially unacceptable one at that.
After your marital estate [consisting of
all your assets, retirement funds, properties, etc.] has been
divided up with a minimum of 50% going to your spouse, you will
be burdened with child support and alimony. If you stay married
for anywhere between 10 - 15 years, you can expect to be
supporting your ex in the style of the marriage with alimony
welfare payments for the rest of your lifetime. These and many
more indignities will be heaped upon you. If you don't keep up
the payments in good times or bad, you can expect to be hauled
into court and threatened with jail unless you comply. And in
all these proceedings, you will be expected to pay not only your
lawyer [if you can afford one] but your spouse's as well.
If you want to get remarried, your second
spouse will be saddled with your debts to your first spouse.
Your prospects for a peaceful remarriage will be doubtful. See
the following victim stories on the
Alimony Slaves In
America Blog and share their misery. If you think
this only applies to men, read the stories at the
Women Paying
Alimony Blog.
It's quite a
dismal outlook isn't it. People getting married today need to
take a better look at what the future holds for them.
Whether you are
married already or contemplating marriage, you will want to
explore this further. The old axiom "Act in haste, repent at
leisure" never was a more true statement.
As one of the parties to a
future divorce proceeding, the first thing you will want do
is to
protect what assets you have now....not later. Then it will
be too late. What's in this book is something your Mother or
Father never told you, yet is something you definitely need to
know. The excellent guidebook that can help with this you is
"A
Spouse's Guide To Hiding Assets"
which details
the methods and actions needed to
protect your assets from a spouse who, at divorce time, will be determined to
take them from you. For your own peace of mind you
need to find out about this in order for you to avoid the "Financial
Suicide" that accompanies divorce.
After you have protected
your assets, you can look to the following as the next step you
want to consider in your preparation for marriage.
An Ounce
Of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure
You've heard this
saying many times before and here is no exception. When getting
married, you are entering a contract unlike any other contract.
However, this is one of the most important contracts into which
you will ever enter that will greatly affect your future
happiness. It is not much different than a business contract
only the courts have looked on it a bit different than if it was
a business contract.
If you think that
your marriage and any subsequent divorce is a matter that is
covered by your "right to privacy" in marriage decisions, which
are constitutionally guaranteed, think again. When you entered
into a marriage contract, you most likely assumed that only you and your wife
were the parties to the contract, well,
read this article.
If you are
contemplating marriage, there are some things you can do to
prevent financial suicide. And alimony is guaranteed financial
suicide. Forewarned is forearmed. As is good practice in
business contract, you should not only agree what each of you
will do in the business, but you should also prepare for the
eventuality of a breakup. Planning for a breakup involves
consideration of the elements involved and how both of you will
treat them. Doing this before marriage is one of the biggest
things you can do to prevent a disaster aside from planning for the big wedding day.
This is where a
prenuptial agreement comes in. Or, if you are already married,
you can consider a postnuptial agreement both of which will save
you tons of attorney's fees in the event of a divorce. To find
out more on the subject, read through the following:
-
Prenuptial and
Postnuptial Agreements and Contract Law in the USA
-
Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (UPAA)
[1995, c. 694, Pt. B, §2 (new);
Pt. E, §2 (aff).] A regulation that allows the parties of a
premarital contract to choose the state's jurisdiction under
which their contract will fall. A couple can choose any
state in which one of the parties lives or plans to live or
the state in which the couple will be married. Because this
act has not been passed in all states, parties to a
prenuptial contract are also limited to choosing only the
states that have passed the Uniform Premarital Agreement
Act.
-
States Who Have Adopted the UPAA :
The UPAA was
approved by the National Conference on Uniform State Laws in
1983, and has been adopted in whole or in part by
approximately half the states including New Jersey (in
1988), but not neighboring New York and Pennsylvania.
You will also
want to read up on what can possibly happen after you are
married and encounter divorce proceedings where you will have to
pay alimony. Unless you know someone who has experienced it,
nothing you can imagine will prepare you for this traumatic
experience.
Good books on the
subject can be found on our site
here
and here.
